Fuzzy Leaves Bumblegonian

The Bumblegonian announced Saturday evening that staff writer, Dr. Warren Fuzzy’s contract with the newspaper has been terminated.  “I was very happy with the Bumblegonian but now I have to move on,” said Fuzzy.  Fuzzy wrote the famous “Peace Tell” from November 2014 until September 2016 until his release.  Fuzzy worked with Poor Luke’s Almanac, The Bumble Buzz, and The Bumblegonian.  The newspaper will add “Pictures Around Bumble” in the Peace Tell’s place.

Political Report

This is the list of the presidential candidates and their delegates:


Joshua Tallaboggnippit, 956
Greta Smudge, 1,098
Darryl Mudgesney, 990


Dr. Warren Fuzzy, 1,754
Ned “Nature Ned” Snools, 1,695
Lynbert Swan, 851


Largemouth Snorkle, 2,062
J.J. Putz, 1,984
Elfrid Smidge


Gladson Honk, 1,251
Ernest Floort
Yuletongue Snort


Robert Sniffles, 986
Albert O’ Willobottom, 1,035
Wilfred Mudgeson, 1,034
Jeffrey Hergesmeer, 800
Tedrich Hugellnuffling, 951
Artur Snuge, 1,012
JB Shnuck, 883


Ciril “Stampy” Longneck
Floyd Hipposon
Gertrude Pipkens, 1,003
Edith Ootp, 678
Mildred Cornbaltt, 933
Ernest Wontobstein, 1,209
George Eggnohitz, 1,759

Timmy Taco Arrested for Harassing Tourists

Mascot of Willy’s Kind Food, Timmy Taco was arrested yesterday evening for harassing a couple of tourists.  The tourists were walking by the restaurant when Timmy ran out and made the people go inside.  “We do not appreciate what our former mascot did,” said owner of Willy’s Greer Ogelsmall.  The store is not going to have a mascot any more.

88th Ernies

This years Ernies was one of the best.  “Timmy” won best picture and Joshua Smell won best actor.  Host Christopher Aboabona found his niche about a fourth of the way through.  Here is the list of the winners from the 88th annual Ernie awards.

  1. Picture: “Timmy”
  2. Actor: Joshua Smell, “Timmy”
  3. Actress: Mildred Ogeltree, “Hippo in Life”
  4. Supporting actor: Cornibald Lincoon, “Tybalt”
  5. Supporting actress: Gertrude Smolt, “Hippo in Life”
  6. Directing: Norbert O’ Thumpkin, “Nymph”
  7. Foreign language film: “Piertounge: The Dwarf”
  8. Adapted screenplay: “Hippo in Life”
  9. Original screenplay: “Timmy”
  10. Animated feature film: “Norberto”
  11. Production design: “Haggis
  12. Cinematography: “Hippo in Life”
  13. Sound mixing: “Shabubgen
  14. Sound editing: “Haduken Slam”
  15. Original score: “Rutabega: Near & Far”
  16. Original song: “Better Then YafromTimmy”
  17. Costume design: “Yuletong”
  18. Documentary feature: “Nymph
  19. Documentary (short subject): “Tofu: In Space”
  20. Film editing: “Unibrow”
  21. Makeup and hairstyling: “Wardegin”
  22. Animated short film: “Hobgiblet”
  23. Live action short film: “Toeburt”
  24. Visual effects: “Shaking Turtle”


Mooning Man Arrested

Mooning Man Arrested

A man mooning people near Hobgoblin Plaza was arrested yesterday afternoon at 3:30 PM.  “The man was obviously thinking what he was doing was funny,” said Bumble Police Chief Adelbert Mumpkin.  The man was not immediately identified but many reports say that he is Alfred O’Wiggleton, 38 of Wartsnin.  The man arrived at the plaza around 2:45 PM and lowered his pants to show his gluteus maximus to all.  He violated rule number 485.9JQ45Q Page 19 Section 41 in the Official Bumble Rulebook.  The man will likely be fined nearly $15,000 for his inappropriateness and getting arrested.  The man has gotten arrested at least three times before.

Full Moon Leads to Odd Happenings

The full moon last night led to many strange things.  Dr. Warren Fuzzy said he was a Peruvian Llama Farmer and Nature Ned climbed atop Mount Boppatortoise and attacked a dead skunk.  Full moons cause very strange things to people and can cause people to most commonly think they are cats.  Last months full moon made Dr. Warren Fuzzy tip over all the produce at the Food Barn and Nature Ned go crazy and say he was a rotund Swedish duck.  The next full moon is March 14.

Ned Heard Screaming, Police on Scene

Nature Ned was heard screeching a painfully loud ballad at 6:30 PM on Monday.  Police were called just minutes after Prappa da Rappa was questioned for being inside a bush.  “I was eating dinner when this horrible yelling came from inside his home,” said Hampus Lindbolm.  Police are investigating the reason for Ned’s emotional outburst.  If you have any information on Nature Ned’s screaming, please report it at bumbpolice.gov