Author: Editor

Political Report

This is the list of the presidential candidates and their delegates:

BLUE

Joshua Tallaboggnippit, 956
Greta Smudge, 1,098
Darryl Mudgesney, 990

PEACE & FREEDOM

Dr. Warren Fuzzy, 1,754
Ned “Nature Ned” Snools, 1,695
Lynbert Swan, 851

TURNIP

Largemouth Snorkle, 2,062
J.J. Putz, 1,984
Elfrid Smidge

NONPARMESAN

Gladson Honk, 1,251
Ernest Floort
Yuletongue Snort

BADGERIAN INDEPENDENT PARTY

Robert Sniffles, 986
Albert O’ Willobottom, 1,035
Wilfred Mudgeson, 1,034
Jeffrey Hergesmeer, 800
Tedrich Hugellnuffling, 951
Artur Snuge, 1,012
JB Shnuck, 883

RADISH

Ciril “Stampy” Longneck
Floyd Hipposon
Gertrude Pipkens, 1,003
Edith Ootp, 678
Mildred Cornbaltt, 933
Ernest Wontobstein, 1,209
George Eggnohitz, 1,759

Timmy Taco Arrested for Harassing Tourists

Mascot of Willy’s Kind Food, Timmy Taco was arrested yesterday evening for harassing a couple of tourists.  The tourists were walking by the restaurant when Timmy ran out and made the people go inside.  “We do not appreciate what our former mascot did,” said owner of Willy’s Greer Ogelsmall.  The store is not going to have a mascot any more.

88th Ernies

This years Ernies was one of the best.  “Timmy” won best picture and Joshua Smell won best actor.  Host Christopher Aboabona found his niche about a fourth of the way through.  Here is the list of the winners from the 88th annual Ernie awards.

  1. Picture: “Timmy”
  2. Actor: Joshua Smell, “Timmy”
  3. Actress: Mildred Ogeltree, “Hippo in Life”
  4. Supporting actor: Cornibald Lincoon, “Tybalt”
  5. Supporting actress: Gertrude Smolt, “Hippo in Life”
  6. Directing: Norbert O’ Thumpkin, “Nymph”
  7. Foreign language film: “Piertounge: The Dwarf”
  8. Adapted screenplay: “Hippo in Life”
  9. Original screenplay: “Timmy”
  10. Animated feature film: “Norberto”
  11. Production design: “Haggis“
  12. Cinematography: “Hippo in Life”
  13. Sound mixing: “Shabubgen“
  14. Sound editing: “Haduken Slam”
  15. Original score: “Rutabega: Near & Far”
  16. Original song: “Better Then Ya” from “Timmy”
  17. Costume design: “Yuletong”
  18. Documentary feature: “Nymph“
  19. Documentary (short subject): “Tofu: In Space”
  20. Film editing: “Unibrow”
  21. Makeup and hairstyling: “Wardegin”
  22. Animated short film: “Hobgiblet”
  23. Live action short film: “Toeburt”
  24. Visual effects: “Shaking Turtle”